I am a PC enthusiast. Yes I am. And I make no apologies for it. You may look at me like I am a relic out of the 1990s, but I’ve always liked PCs. (I also happen to like mechanical keyboards because there is just something special about the feeling, the oompf, the resistance of the keys as your fingers are clicking away. But enough about me.) Even though I am a hard core PC adherent (i.e. the kind that used to say Macs were only necessary if you were working on graphics or gaming), Steve Jobs and Tim Cook have managed to even seduce me.
Begrudgingly, I must admit that Apple has mastered something that Microsoft, Lenovo and Dell never have – the art of seduction.
Apple Has Mastered the Human Heart
Apple is like that buxom dark haired woman in the low cut red dress and sky high stiletto heels that you spot across the room. The woman that is sipping a martini slowly at the bar, while that olive is slowly dancing between her pearly whites (let’s call her “Ms. Apple”). Except this woman comes in all different sizes and colors and speaks different languages on cue (and she can actually get you from Point A to Point B without giving you directions that consist of taking a left turn after passing two McDonalds and three 7-11s). Forgive me, if I sound misogynistic for a second (after all, I am a guy).
Men want a beautiful, intelligent woman on their arm for largely the same reason a person wants the newest iPhone. They want other men to see them and feel momentarily jealous.
I would suspect that the same holds true for women who covet the latest Hermes bag or limited edition Chanel (while their significant others are left to wonder what good a bag that costs as much as a car will do for them once they are living out of a box on the corner of 5th Avenue and 69th). Isn’t it primarily a feeling? Don’t you enjoy the looks other women give you as you walk down the streets of New York or the special attention they pay you at Bloomingdales (instead of ignoring you like mold when you walk into the Prada store)?
The thing is –
All humans want not only to feel good, but they actually want to feel better than the next person. This is the human heart.
If you can’t beat the competition, then at least keep up with them (hence the name of that atrocious reality show most Americans rot their brain watching).
Through creatively seductive design and genius marketing, Apple has managed to keep us coveting the next best thing. And you must have “the next best thing” before someone else gets it.
This is why we wait like ravenous wolves for the next Apple press release where Apple basically tells us that they’ve changed only one or two things, but yet we still pre-order their I-Phones en masse months in advance (and we make sure to tell our co-workers that we’ve done so). That’s why people now say, almost with shame in their voices:“I still only have the iPhone 4S, but I am getting the iPhone 5 soon.”
When it comes to marketing, Apple has quite simply left everyone else in the dust. Apple has Americans drooling over products they know nothing about other than the plain and simple fact that Apple plans on releasing them. In that sense, Apple has created a cult. And how is Bill Gates supposed to compete with a cult?
Ms. Apple Has Brought Sexy Back
First and foremost, Ms. Apple is sexy. Women can believe whatever they want about why men choose a particular woman until death do us part. Yes, we do care about your personality (after all, we don’t want to be annoyed and nagged to death for the rest of our lives). But let’s be real. Ms. Apple is first judged on her aesthetic appeal. You don’t have to be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if we are going to commit to you, in our eyes, you must be sexy. And Ms. Apple’s definitely got curves. And she comes in all different colors!
Ms. Apple Makes You Feel Useful
Now, if a man lands a beautiful woman who is also smart, then you know he’s scored. Ms. Apple is sexy, yet she’s also smart. Ms. Apple not only makes people feel useful, she actually makes them useful. Now how many women do you know who can get a man to get off his sofa, turn off the X Box and actually feel good about conquering the world?
For example, with AirDrop you can share almost anything with any iOS7 user. Say it’s Black Friday in your typically oversized American shopping mall. Somehow, you wandered down a winding staircase and now you can’t see past the hordes of people shoving elbow-to-elbow for that large screen TV giveaway to find your way back. When your friend realizes that she’s lost you, she can use AirDrop to share her location with you. As long as you and your friend have iOS7 and are connected to the same Wi-Fi network, you can share your longitude and latitude.
Or, say you just got an eye exam and your eyes are still dilated. You can’t see what your IPhone even says, let alone read how to drive home from the eye doctor’s office. No problem. You just press and voila! Siri rushes to your rescue!
People have a profound desire to feel useful and Apple makes it easy for us to fulfill that need.
Ms. Apple Makes You Feel Smart
Likewise, people also have a profound desire to feel smart.
Apple has made feeling smart obtainable, with a few touches and swipes.
We live in an era where neophytes can become near experts through sites like Google Helpouts and Youtube. We have endlessly irritated our doctors by telling them what we believe our correct medical diagnosis and treatment should be armed with information from WebMd and drugs.com.
Ms. Apple has been at the cusp of the information age and enables us to use the web to gain access to tomes of data. An iPhone in your pocket is tantamount to a library in your pocket (probably better). Yes, this feature isn’t singular to Apple (since all smartphones have internet access), but only Apple invokes a zeal for information that other phones can’t touch. Apple makes information hip and vogue. Intelligence can now be obtained in a trendy way.
Ms. Apple is an Independent Woman
Apple makes you truly an independent woman (or autonomous man). You can be a real survivor out there in your urban jungle armed with the information that Ms. Apple provides easily at your fingertips.
Ms. Apple is Like a Ferrari. You Don’t Mind the Cost of Maintenance.
Ms. Apple is high maintenance, but you want to maintain her (sort of like a Ferrari). Buying just a USB DVD burner requires you to shell out almost 70 bucks. But you will somehow gladly do it.
THE BOTTOM LINE
I realize that in writing this post, my PC loving co-workers and friends are going to vilify me and call me a traitorous punk that deserves great amounts of drawn out pain. Some of this is probably deserved. In my defense, I personally own a Samsung Galaxy S4 and use a PC.
Bottom line is — Apple has mastered a feeling. Apple has aroused and satisfied unmet human needs that we didn’t even know existed. They’re intangible. You can’t really compete with that.
What do you think about Apple? I’d love to hear the good and bad in the comments below!